Why the First Week of Summer is So Miserable (And Why Your Teen is Sleeping Until Noon)

It’s finally here. The last day of school.

As a parent, you probably imagined the first week of summer break as a joyous, relaxing time. The schedule is finally clear. The mornings are slow. Everyone should be thrilled, right?

But the reality of the first week of summer usually looks like this: Your teen is sleeping until noon, dragging themselves out of bed, and acting incredibly irritable. They’re snapping at you over minor questions, and instead of feeling joyful, they seem angry and lethargic. You’re frustrated because they‘re wasting the day away and being totally unproductive.

Before you launch into a lecture about laziness, we need to look at what’s actually happening inside your teenager's body. They aren't trying to be difficult; they’re experiencing a massive biological crash.

The Circadian Rhythm Shift

During adolescence, a teenager's circadian rhythm naturally shifts. Biologically, they’re wired to go to bed much later at night and wake up later in the morning. And due to the brain development that happens during adolescence, they need about 9 to 9.5 hours of sleep each night. 

But because of the reality of school schedules, they’re forced to wake up hours before their bodies are ready. They’re thrust into high-stakes situations like taking a chemistry test at 8:00 AM while their brains are still trying to wake up. Doing this almost daily from September to May takes a massive physical toll on their bodies.

A recent study showed that teens can actually compensate for some of the sleep deficit they accumulate during the week by sleeping in up to two extra hours a day on the weekends. So, if your teen's natural wake-up time is 10:00 AM, and you add those two hours of makeup sleep, it makes biological sense that they wouldn't naturally wake up until noon.

The Nervous System Crash

When the final bell rings and all the responsibilities, reports, and homework are finally done, the adrenaline wears off.

For the last month, your teen has been operating in a highly mobilized sympathetic nervous system state. The stress of finals week literally pumped them full of cortisol, keeping them alert and pushing them through the exhaustion. 

When the school year ends, that stressor is suddenly removed. Their nervous system finally feels safe enough to power down, and it drops into a deep recovery state. Without the adrenaline keeping them propped up, they feel the full, crushing weight of their physical and mental exhaustion.

This is why they’re so irritable. Their Window of Regulation is completely tapped out.

The One-Week Detox

So, how do you handle the miserable first week of summer without ruining your relationship? You let them sleep.

Give your teen a one-week grace period to detox from the school year. You have to let go of the expectation that they will be up and productive at 7:00 AM, because their bodies simply won’t allow it right now.

However, you can set clear boundaries. I tell parents to have a conversation that looks like this: "I know you’re exhausted, and this first week is just for you to decompress and sleep. But I want to be clear about the expectations: Next Monday, the summer routine starts, and you’ll have chores and responsibilities again."

Give them the space to recover, but let them know it is only a temporary adjustment period.

Get Ready for Summer Together

Once that first week of detox is over, your teen is going to be home a whole lot more. If you want to make sure this summer isn't spent constantly clashing and walking on eggshells, now is the perfect time to reset your family dynamic.

Through my Understand Your Teenprogram, I formally type both you and your teen using the Enneagram. We look at exactly where your personalities are naturally compatible, and where you are guaranteed to clash. You will walk away with a personalized, actionable roadmap on how to minimize conflict, motivate your teen, and communicate compassionately while they are living under your roof 24/7 this summer.

Click here to decode your family’s personalities and set yourself up for a peaceful summer!