"May is the New December": Managing the Mental Load of the High School Mom
If you’ve been a parent for a while, you know that May has always been a little chaotic.
Think back to the elementary school years. May was a marathon of Spring Flings, class picnics, field days, and coordinating teacher gifts, all while preparing for the transition of having your kids home 24/7 for the summer.
For many of us here in Lancaster, middle school offered a bit of a breather. The schedule lightened up just a fraction. But then? High school hits, and May officially becomes the new December.
Suddenly, your calendar is exploding again. You’re juggling AP testing schedules, Keystone exams, and finals. You are trying to figure out when your teen is taking the SATs in June, helping them secure a summer job, and dragging yourself to endless concerts, sports banquets and award nights. Add in graduation parties and trying to finalize a summer vacation, and the mental load becomes entirely suffocating.
May isn't enjoyable. It is just a frantic sprint to get everything done before the next season starts.
Calming the May Nervous System
When you‘re carrying this much mental weight, your body responds by mobilizing an incredible amount of energy. You’re running on pure adrenaline. To survive the month without your Window of Regulation completely shattering, you have to give that mobilized energy a safe place to go.
Here are three ways I help moms in my Safe Place Parent Coaching program manage the May chaos:
1. Tap Into the State of Play
When you have a million things to do, taking time for play feels counterproductive. But your nervous system desperately needs it! Doing something you genuinely enjoy takes all that mobilized, anxious energy and pulls it right back into your Window of Regulation. It builds resilience. Stop organizing for twenty minutes and go do something that brings you joy.
2. Listen to Binaural Beats
This is a quick-win tool I give to almost all my clients, and they love it. Go to Spotify or Apple Music and search for "Binaural Beats for Anxiety" or "Binaural Beats for Stress Relief." Pop your earbuds in for just 15 minutes a day. The specific frequencies in these tracks help physically calm your brain waves. Many of my clients report it helps them sleep better too!
3. The "Should/Would" Brain Dump
When your brain feels like a browser with 40 tabs open, you need a time management reset. I walk moms through a process I call Should/Woulds/Coulds.
Brain Dump: At the start of the week, write down literally everything that is bouncing around in your head. (Yes, self-care and play should be on this list!)
Rank It: Group the list into three categories: Things I absolutely have to do, Things I really need to do, and Things I would like to do. (Self-care and play are things you absolutely have to do! Your nervous system needs this break.)
Map It: Put only the top priorities on your calendar first.
Once your schedule is built, take it one event at a time. If you look at a Tuesday that has four massive events scheduled, you will exhaust yourself before the day even begins. Focus solely on the very next event. Be present for it, finish it, and then look at the next one.
Let's Reset the Schedule
May proves that a schedule packed full of things, even if they are all good things, will only leave you and your teen completely burnt out. Rest is an absolute necessity for a healthy nervous system.
If your family is drowning right now, I have a free resource to help you create some breathing room. It is called The Stressed Teen's Schedule Reset. While I designed it to help parents help their teens audit their extracurriculars, the principles inside apply perfectly to your mental load, too. It walks you through how to grab an hourly calendar to physically map out the week and find the white space where your brain can actually recharge.
Click here to download The Stressed Teen's Schedule Reset and get your family's margin back!
