Limping to Spring Break: How to Reset When Your Teen Is "Done"

We are in the thick of the "Third Quarter Slump."

The excitement of the new year is gone. Spring Break is still weeks away. The weather in Lancaster is... well, it’s February.

In my coaching sessions this week, the theme is unanimous: "I’m just done."

Teens are exhausted. They are dragging themselves to school, coming home, and immediately collapsing into bed or onto their phones.

As a parent, it’s hard to watch. You might be worried about their grades slipping or their lack of motivation. You might find yourself saying, "You just need to push through for a few more weeks!"

But pushing through the slump doesn't work when your tank is empty.

The Difference Between Rest and Collapse

When your teen comes home and scrolls TikTok for 4 hours, it looks like they’re relaxing.

But in the language of the nervous system, this isn't Rest. It’s Collapse.

• Rest (Parasympathetic State): This is restorative. The body is safe, calm, and recharging. It feels like reading a book, hanging out with a friend, or sleeping deeply. You’ve probably heard it referred to as “Rest and Digest.”

• Collapse (Dorsal Vagal Shutdown): This is protective. The system is so overwhelmed that it shuts down to conserve energy. It feels like "numbing out," dissociation, or doomscrolling.

The catch? Collapse doesn't recharge the battery. It just pauses the drain. That’s why they can scroll for 5 hours and still wake up exhausted.

How to Help Them Actually Reset

We can't make Spring Break come faster, but we can help them shift from Collapse to Rest.

1. Create a "Soft Landing" When they walk in the door, their nervous system is fried. Don't ask about grades, chores, or the SATs immediately. Give them 30 minutes of zero demands. Let the home be a sanctuary, not a second shift of work.

2. Co-Regulation (The "Body Double" Technique) Sometimes, a teen in "Collapse" can't pull themselves out of it alone. Instead of nagging them to get off the phone, just go be with them. Bring a snack to their room. Sit on the floor. Don't talk about problems. Just bring your calm nervous system into their space. Biology dictates that nervous systems sync up. Your calm can help pull them out of the freeze.

3. Low-Stakes Joy Burnout happens when life feels like 100% "Have-To" and 0% "Want-To." Find one tiny thing this weekend that has no point other than joy. A drive to get coffee, watching a dumb movie, or baking something. Remind their brain that life isn't just a performance review.

We’re Almost There

The sun is coming back. The days are getting longer.

Until then, let’s stop trying to force peak productivity in a season meant for endurance. If your teen is limping to the finish line of this quarter, that’s okay. The goal right now isn't to sprint; it’s to just keep moving.

Is your teen stuck in "Collapse" mode? Let’s chat and give them the tools to truly recharge.