AP Classes or Sanity? How to Help Your Perfectionist Pick Next Year’s Schedule
It’s that time of year again.
If you have a student at Manheim Township, Hempfield, or Manheim Central, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
The Course Selection Sheet has arrived.
For most families, this is just a form. But for the family of a Perfectionist Teen, this piece of paper is a grenade.
I’m seeing it in my practice right now. Teens are frozen in panic, convinced that if they don't take 4 AP classes, their entire future is ruined. They are catastrophizing about college applications before they’ve even finished 10th grade.
The "All or Nothing" Trap
Perfectionist teens (often Enneagram Types 1 and 3) view course selection through a black-and-white lens:
Option A: Take the hardest classes, stay up until 2 AM every night, and be successful.
Option B: Take a regular class, get 8 hours of sleep, and be a failure.
There is no middle ground in their minds. This is why they overload their schedules, leading to the burnout we see by November.
How to Help Them Decide (Without the Fight)
As parents, we often try to use logic: "You don't need that AP History class! You hate history!"
But to them, dropping an AP class feels like admitting defeat.
In my Stand Strong System, we move teens out of Panic Mode and into Decision Mode using a simple framework. Sit down with your teen and their course sheet this week and ask these three questions:
1. "What is your 'Why' for this class?"
Challenge them to articulate the reason.
Good Why: "I genuinely love biology and want to be a vet."
Fear-Based Why: "All my friends are taking it" or "I need the weighted GPA boost to stay in the top 10%."
The Rule: If the only reason is fear or status, it’s a cut.
2. "What’s the cost?"
Every "Yes" to a class is a "No" to something else. Have them literally write it down. "If I take AP Chem, that is 1.5 hours of homework a night. That means I have to quit the school play / sleep one hour less / give up my Sunday downtime." Make the cost visible. Is it worth the price tag?
3. "Where is your 'White Space'?"
Look at their draft schedule. Where is the room to breathe? If every block is filled with "rigor," there is no room for life. I challenge my clients to keep one "Sacred Block"—a study hall, an art class, or a "regular" elective where they can just be without performing.
You Are the Gatekeeper
This is the hard part for parents. Sometimes, you have to be the one to say "No."
If you know your teen falls apart when they don't get enough sleep, it’s okay to set a boundary. "I love you too much to watch you suffer next year. We are capping it at two AP classes."
They might be mad at you now. But come November, when they aren't drowning while their friends are, they’ll secretly be relieved.
Need Backup?
If looking at that course selection sheet ends in a screaming match (or silent treatment), you don't have to navigate it alone.
I help teens separate their worth from their transcript so they can build a schedule that challenges them without breaking them.
Let’s chat and find ways to build a schedule that includes success AND sanity.
